subtitle: “Mom, is Jack still in the fireplace?” and other common phrases heard in the Ethridge house.
Okay- while I was waiting for the original video to open, I went and shot another one of Jack. If I had not been so trigger happy with the off button, we could be on our way to a month long cruise courtesy of America’s Funniest Home Videos, or least gotten $1000 and a “Here’s Your Sign” award from Bill Engvall and Country Fried Videos. Please watch:
I think the new title should be “Our Audition for Next Vacation Movie”. I know there’s a lot left unsaid in the wedding vows and that there’s a good bit that’s understood that you’ll put up with or take care of once you enter this covenant, especially if you choose to be a housewife with kids. In fact, we were recently talking with someone and commenting that things like “for better or worse” could be re-written as Hot Wheels all over the floor or not, soaked in bath water or dry. These are things rarely put into a wedding ceremony. However, I’m really sorry, but the above just isn’t in the job description!! I was never warned that this is how an afternoon could begin. What you’ve just watched happened literally seconds ago. What you’ve just watched is our mildly insane dog “chimneying” a squirrel (I’d say treeing, but we’re a little suburbian for that). He has been in there all morning jumping around acting like an idiot- I really figured the squirrel was long gone because I haven’t heard it for hours. I had videoed a little of Jack’s attempts at living up to his hunting heritage- he’s a fox terrier after all- earlier since we hadn’t had a “Jack” post in awhile. While that was being transferred to the computer, he got a little more animated, so I went to video again to see if I got anything funnier. So, I’m sitting on the floor videoing the dog trying to get a good shot of his now very black face. I hear a bit of commotion and then all H*** breaks loose. That small flash you see towards the end is the #$%* squirrel flying out of the chimney AT ME!! The inhalation you hear at the end is directly proportional to the scream that came out of me. Unfortunately I turned the camera off in my shock so you missed that and this: Jack comes flying out of the fireplace and proceeds to chase the rodent around our den and adjoining play room. I run up the stairs and instructed Wilson to stay on his stool in the kitchen where he’s eating his lunch. The squirrel, with Jack in tow, goes over Wilson’s full size camping tent that’s set up in the playroom and then scales the vertical blinds before dashing out the back door that I finally had the presence of mind to open- not before the rabies ridden vermin brushed against my leg. IT TOUCHED ME!!! S&*^%) !! Jack then Houdini’s his tail under the deck and out of the fence (now I know how he gets out) and chased it into the woods. I got him back in and Snots is now hanging out in the shower awaiting his fate for belly crawling in the mud under the fence. I continued running around screaming laughing so hard that I think Wilson thinks I’ve gone completely insane.
(I’m doing some editing now at about 8:00. Phil asked Wilson when he came home if we got the squirrel out of the house. He had no idea that was even going on. He said he just wanted me to quit screaming so I wouldn’t wake up Miller. What concern for someone who insists on yelling right by her cradle 30 minutes into every nap she’s ever taken! This also explains why he asked me why I moved his tent. I DID NOT move the tent- the dog and his assailant did a few laps in, around, and over the tent, dragging it with them. As this was all going on I was laughing so hard Wilson also thought I was upset. He kept asking, Mama are you sad? My favorite part of the video now is that in the background you can hear him saying “Mama, Mama, Hey Mama, know what Mama, know what Mama”. Like it’s completely normal that our dog is dancing around in the fireplace, he has something else much more interesting that he needs me to know about RIGHT NOW. I have to say, I really am due a Here’s Your Sign. What did I honestly think was going to happen if I sat at the opening to a fireplace with a dog at the bottom of the chimney and a squirrel at the other end and my video camera in hand!?)
Well, Miller has just simultaneously pooped and thrown up (she’s Uncle Eddy in our little reenactment), so it’s on to the next great adventure into the unknown for me. Phil, cancel the exterminator and never mind on picking up a gun on the way home.
Oh, and if you’re selling crazy, look elsewhere. We’re all full up here.
Editor’s note: spellcheck is broken right now, so, pick your way through this as best you can!
