Author: maggie

Have you ever looked at pictures of yourself as a child or teenager or on your wedding day and thought, “I wish I could go back and tell that me something”? (start playing “If I Could Write a Letter to Me” in your head now!) Maybe there’s been a tragedy in your life that you’d want to prepare yourself for or maybe you’d just like to tell your 16 year old self that things will get better!

Well, we (as most of you know) are in the (eternal?) process of fixing up our house. We just passed the year anniversary of living here a few weeks ago on Phil’s birthday (happy 30th, by the way). It’s been several months since I’ve posted a new set of before and after pictures, and quite honestly, I’ve been a little down about that. Sometimes I just want to scream “WE’VE BEEN HERE A YEAR FOR HEAVEN SAKES!!! WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK ANY DIFFERENT!?” When the truth is, we’re painfully close to being done with phase 1 of a major area of the house and pictures are soon to be posted. We have gotten a lot done and I just have a bad case of “never is enough.” I’ve begun to start giving some serious thought to what I want to do with the kitchen. Do I want to just get it to an attractive room to live with for a few more years? Should we live with it the way it is for a little longer until we can do a complete overhaul? What defines each of those options? Join me in the hamster wheel of frustration, will you?

So, I was flipping through all of my before pictures of the house to see what I had of the kitchen to show a kitchen designer when I meet with her. This is one of the pictures:

(I’ve really tried to avoid posting before pictures without an after- sorry to have ruined the affect for when I do finally get some posted of this area!)

The day before we closed on the house our realtor, Wilson, and I went to the house to do a walk through and then wait an ever loving eternity for a cleaning lady to show up. While we waited, I decided to go around and take before pictures of the house completely empty. I had big plans after all and these pictures were going to be part of the greatest polishing of a diamond in the rough the world had ever seen.

Wilson was not really supposed to be in any of the pictures, nor did he want to be. But somehow he wound up in this one. I’m glad he did because when I opened it up it made me stop for a second and reflect. I wanted to run to “that him”, scoop him up, give him a big hug, and talk to him. Actually seeing pictures of the kitchen caught me by surprise first. We pulled the wallpaper down less than 24 hours after this was taken so the kitchen has had a different look the entire time we’ve lived in the house (note “different” does not always equal “good” – in this case, different is just different!). But as soon as I saw the “old” kitchen, it immediately made me realize the one I have now (as horrid as I think it is most of the time) is “my” kitchen. Looking at the old pictures brought back the feelings of “we’re leaving home and buying someone else’s house”- feelings that do not immediately come to me now when I walk in the door. I have said several times that the past year has literally been some sort of time warp for me and I am baffled quite often when things I think happened a few days or weeks ago actually happened over a year ago. This is another one of those times, except that this time it is pleasantly surprising. Somehow during this warped time, I ACTUALLY HAVE adopted this place as home. I really didn’t think that I had. I still flip on the wrong light switch every time I go in the playroom bathroom. I am still completely grossed out by the remaining fibers of carpet in the bedrooms. I still say four letter words every time I go in the laundry room and that terrible fluorescent light fixture doesn’t warm up and come on until I’m done in the room and flipping (the wrong) switch off. We are still paying a mortgage on a squirrel motel. But somehow, it’s home.

So, if I could go back, what would I tell that little face looking at me in the picture above?

“Buddy, it’s going to be okay. We are about to embark on a crazy, busy, mixed up year. You are going to make it through unscathed, and love most of it. We WILL get the smell out. Santa will bring you the Lightning Spiral. Your sister will get here and be very healthy. Your room will be bright blue “like your train” in a matter of days. You’ll still be wearing that shirt next Christmas. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. You’re going to love having an upstairs room- it will never bother you that we’re downstairs (except for the first few weeks when Miller comes home and you want her upstairs with you in her room). Thank you for not being right under my feet for once when that grease came flying out of the pan- I’m still so thankful that it only got on my hand and not your head! Sometimes, even a year later, you’ll miss our old house- and that’s okay. It was your first home, and as long as we’re here we can drive by whenever you want. You’re going to love sitting on the back steps waiting for dad’s car to turn down the street on his way home from work. You’re going to have a buddy right down the street to play with at a moments notice- he’s also going to love Cars as much as you! Chasing Jack up and down the stairs is soooo much fun. I don’t know how, but you’re always going to like it here- and you’re going to protest most of the changes we’re going to begin to make. You’re going to be okay.”

Or maybe I’d just say most those things to the person behind the camera.

Since Miller has FINALLY figured out how to crawl, we’ve been able to move on to the next phase of play place fun- crawl through tunnel. Seriously, this thing is GREAT. If you’re looking for a gift for new parents, this will be a hit. 10 months and we’re still using it daily!

The under publicised Duchess of Hazard, Millie MAE- she prefers to exit via the side window.

. . .bug my house?! Recently I gushed about Amazon answering a silent wish of mine- to be able to add anything to a wish list from anywhere on the web. Well they must have had a camera in my kitchen a few weeks ago as I tried to extract my new cell phone and was reduced to banging it on the counter in cave womanly manor confounded by the “clam shell” style plastic packaging that has become so favored by manufacturers these days. Or maybe Big Brother had been dispatched to the playroom as mountains of twist ties piled up and Wilson nearly wet himself waiting on me to open up his birthday gifts (you know the opening up that’s not nearly as fun as the ripping off of bright paper and ribbons- the opening up that requires yard shears, heavy duty gloves, 4 letter words, and a professional manicure to repair the damage). Today they announced this new initiative . . .

“Thanks” just doesn’t seem to cover it. I’ll be drying tears of joy if anyone needs me.

It’s hard to believe that we’ve already been back for over a week- and even harder to believe that I haven’t posted any pictures! If you are a regular follower you’re about to see that I’ve had a lot of catching up to do, so scroll down- there’s about 10 new posts (at least it seems that way if there really aren’t!)(Okay, I just counted, there’s actually THIRTEEN!).

I’ll spare you each and every individual photo from the whole entire trip (it rivals the day he was born). And, as you can tell by the 1800 posts, I’m too behind to do scrapbook pages. I did however spend the better part of 2 days putting together a photo book online and I’ll post a link below (click on the picture of the album, shutterfly will open and then click on the album picture again- don’t use “view album” it doesn’t work). When you get to the site click view the show. There is a magnifying glass on the upper right side if you want to see it page by page and be able to read the journaling & captions.

Disclaimer to family- you may want to skip this entirely because you will be required to look at the hard copy when it arrives and you will have to sit through Wilson’s tour of the book- pace yourself!

I can’t leave this post without saying THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to my mom and dad for keeping Miller while we went. It’s definitely not an easy job, but we really appreciate you doing it. We couldn’t have gone without your help. As I’ve said, “I have a no diaper, no stroller, no pregnant in Disney World rule . . . and only three of us qualified.”

You in your birthday crown from school

My Sweet Wilson,

Wow, what a year! Honestly it’s just a blur and I feel like I hardly remember any of it. I really feel like I should be pulling into the driveway of our old house, laying you down for your nap in your bed in your old room, scrambling to get the house ready for your 3 year old birthday halloween carnival party, and then waking you up just in time to meet your guests (and be the only one not wearing a costume!). Because after that it just gets really hazy.

We began the flinging of all our stuff into boxes, the unflinging into our new house, painting as much as could be painted before purchasing what seemed to be the last Christmas tree on the lot, and then shoving all the Christmas decorations back into the closet so that we wouldn’t trip over them coming back into the house with your new baby sister. From there it seems like more of just a time warp.

I keep waiting for the moment that I’m going to take a walk with you on your new tricycle or read a story to you in your new tent and then I realize those things are no longer “new” and that it really has been A WHOLE YEAR since they were. You’ve moved on and grown more.

You still love your tent and tricycle, you’re just able to love them with me on the side line now. We go weeks without the mention of Lion- he’s been replaced with Rocko the dog (who’s currently taking a back seat to Pluto). A few weeks before we moved you became fascinated with this stuffed dog that you’ve had since birth, named him Rocko, and he’s stayed at your side ever since. When school started this year, you ran right into Mrs. Angie’s room to meet her completely thrilled about your new room and teacher, no apprehension what so ever. You no longer insist on me walking you to your class anymore like you did last year- you happily hop out of the car each morning and run to your room from the carpool line. Many mornings I wake up to you rumbling around in the kitchen, feeding the dog, letting him out and then giving him a treat when he comes back in. I’ll walk out later to find you hanging out in the playroom watching cartoons. You’ve become quite skilled at playing Mario Kart on our Wii and enjoying trying to beat dad (and sometimes do!). You’ve impressed us with your ability to memorize scripture and have begun to apply them, a little.

(Quick story- We have been reading through Susan Hunt’s Bible Verse ABC’s repeatedly and you’ve memorized most of the 26 verses. I left you and Miller with Daddy for the day while I went out of town for a baby shower. While I was putting you to bed the night before I left I began an attempt to bribe you for super duper good behavior and for being helpful to Dad while I was gone. I told you that I was going to call him on my way home and if you’d been good, I’d stop and get you a surprise. “Please, please, please be sweet and help Daddy with Miller, and just be as sweet and good as you can”. We read books and said prayers. As I was leaving I said, “Okay tomorrow if your tempted to say or do something ugly to Daddy, what are you going to remember?” I’m expecting “be nice and I’ll get a surprise”. To my surprise you reply “A soft answer turns away wrath, Proverbs 15:1.” Fine, will go with your answer!)

You’ve recently gone through the triple threat (see later post) with very few tears and I’m beginning to fear we’re getting close to the little boy doesn’t need mamma point.

However, I do have to remind myself that as independent as you have become (inspite of yourself) you still do come running for mom a good bit. I think maybe as Miller is starting to move into “your territory” you’re as scared of loosing it as I am of you not needing anymore! You often ask for me to feed you, you’re still very fearful of the unknown and want to know all that you can about everything before trying it (holding our hands the whole way of course) but then you usually want to go back and do whatever it was on your own as many times as possible. You’re very careful about what toys of your’s Miller is allowed to play with (often siting small pieces that MAY come off IF she chews on them as choking hazards, knowing that’s a hole in one for not having to share). I’m not sure why, but your latest concerns are about Heaven. Sweet boy, I’m afraid there’s just no way for us to give you a dry run on that one. You’re just going to have to learn, along with Mom and Dad, to trust that God has got a wonderful spot for all of us there!

We ended your 4th year here with a trip to Disney World (maybe that’s where all the Heaven questions are coming from!?) And what a great time we all had. We drove and you didn’t sleep a wink down or back! You were a trooper on the car ride and did well at the parks. It took a few days for you to really get into the swing of things, but when you did, oh what fun! Your favorite rides included Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain, and the Haunted Mansion- a big GO FIGURE on all of those. You were very leary of any ride that took place inside (like ALL the little kid rides) becuase you could not see what was going to happen. However, you begged to go on Splash and loved every minuted and inch of the 52′ drop! You are daily planning our next trip with Miller (which will not occur until she too reaches at least the 4 year mark so it should be quite an organized excursion!) When we got home we had your birthday party on Halloween on the playground at your preschool with all your school friends as well as a couple of church pals. You got tons of great gear including dinosaurs, trucks, books, and, of course, Cars!

I love you to the moon and back, Baby,

Mamma.

Playing with some of your b’day dinosaurs while wearing your crown in our backyard

You, Nathan, and John Clark eating lunch at your party

Your cake- it looks just like the invites to your party

And with one little blow, we’re on our way to FIVE!

Video from your actual birthday at the Animal Kingdom in Disney World.